A Carnahan Clip: A Rare Moment

Most of the time they disagree, a lot of the time they whine, most of the time they refuse to get a long and harass each other until the ends of the earth. But every now and then, there is love and I was lucky enough to catch one of those brief and quickly fleeting moments.

A Carnahan Clip: The Sun Will Come Out TODAY!

I've decided to start sharing a moment from each week of our lives. Every Friday I hope to share another Carnahan moment with you. This week's moment is courtesy of Jax. We've spent nearly the last 2 weeks cycling a variety of illness through our home. It started last Sunday with a high fever for Jax and then we moved on to share a variety of symptoms including fevers, poos, pukes, rashes, cramps, congestion, coughs. You name it, we had it. Through it all, Jax was fairly quiet and way crabby. Although he graced us with his beautiful smile through it all, there were very few joyous sounds that passed his perfect little lips. Today, the clouds lifted and little Mr. Sunshine came out to play with his sister!!

Give thanks for your life and the people in it.

I am 20 days behind in my thanksgiving. I just can't seem to find the time to get on here and post. Here we go...

8. I am thankful for our wonderful network of doctors, although I dread each and every visit. I am thankful that their skilled eyes see things I don't. I am thankful that they are so cautious with my children and leave no stone unturned. They have caught issues early on and saved us from more difficult battles. I am thankful especially for our pediatricians who treat my children like their own and rejoice in the wonders we experience and offer sincerest understanding when appointments bring me to tears or rise anger in me. I am thankful for their weekend calls and constant guardianship.

9. I am thankful for my mother. I am thankful for the person she created in me. I am thankful for the friend she has become. She listens, she aches, she cheers, and sometimes she knows just what I need. For my mother, I am grateful. I'd be lost without her in my life. She has shown me true and unconditional love. She has shown me what support is and helped me march on many times when I was sure I couldn't or wouldn't take another step. She is my perfect mother and I am thankful for her life.

10. I am thankful for my sweet, sweet Colin. He has taught me that there is so much more to life than who you know and what you own. I am thankful for his life. I am thankful for every moment I have had with him and the many more to come. I am thankful for the wonderful young man he has become. I am thankful for the joy he brings me with his always open heart. I am thankful for every moment of joy he has brought me. I am thankful that he made me a mom. What a blessing that is. I am thankful for his life.

11. My father. I am thankful for my father. I am thankful that I was given a strong, determined man to call my dad. I am thankful for the time he carves out of his life to be a mentor to my son. I am thankful for the joys he has provided in both my life and the lives of my children. I am thankful for everything he has given me including my strong desire to succeed, to be something important, to do more and to never stop trying. I am thankful for his life.

12. I am thankful for my husband and our marriage. I know I already mentioned my thankfulness for this man, but it is worthy of secondary gratefulness. I am thankful that he has forgiven me time and time again. I am thankful that he is willing to deal with me and my insanity time and time again. I am thankful that he never fails to just listen. I am thankful that this very difficult road, which could have led us to very unhappy places, has ultimately brought us closer together. I am thankful for my husband, my best friend, the father of my children. I am thankful for his life.

13. I am thankful for my Jaxen. I am thankful for this boy who brings me only smiles. I am thankful for the moments I have shared with him and for the joy he brings our entire family. He is the icing on the cake and the cherry on top. He is proof that even when you think life can't be any fuller...it absolutely can. He is joy in its purest form. He is happiness, light, love, and laughter. I am thankful for his life.

14. I am thankful for my Sherri, my oldest sister, my confident. I am thankful that she can finish my sentences and I hers. I am thankful that she knows how I work. I am thankful that she takes what I see as my flaws and points them out to me as blessings. I am thankful that I've watched us grow closer together as we've grown into better women over the last decade. I am thankful for her life.

15. I am thankful for Natalie, my closest, dearest friend. I'm thankful that we've never argued or shared a hurtful word. I am thankful that I can rely on, cry on, and cheer with this wonderful person I call my very best friend. I am thankful that she came to me out of nowhere when I probably needed her most and has walked nearly every step of my life in the last 10 years with me via phone. I am thankful that she never gets annoyed at listening to my same woes OVER and OVER again and is able to laugh with me when laughing seems like the craziest thing to do. I am thankful for her life.

16. I am thankful for my mother-in-law. I know, you're not supposed to "LIKE" your mother-in-law, right? Well, I don't like mine, I love her. I am thankful for every single thing she has done for me and her son and her babies from the day we each entered her life. I am thankful that she never criticizes and always supports. I am thankful for her life.

17. I am thankful for the grandparents up the road who have become mine. Time and time again, they have become our biggest supporters. I can't imagine a life without them. They have taught me what it means to be giving and unconditionally loving. They have taught me what it means to have a true extended family. I am thankful for them as role models in not only my life but in the lives of my children. I am thankful for their lives.

18. I am thankful for my girl. I am thankful for my only girl. She has shown me what it means to "be yourself." I am thankful for the deep love she shares with me for her father. She loves him for all the same reasons I do and I am thankful to share that with her. I am thankful for her strength and need to be first in everything she does. I am thankful for her laughter. I am thankful for her life.

19. I am thankful for each sole who has walked down this road of 32 years with me. Although I have only mentioned those closest to me in every day here, I am thankful for each and every person who has shared this life with me. Life is not about where you have been but who was there with you, and I have been blessed with by amazing soles every step of the way. I am thankful for each and every life who has made an impression on mine. I am thankful for your lives.

20. My life is honestly nothing like I envisioned it as a young girl. My fantasies were so big, so ideal, so perfect. I am thankful for my imperfect, wonky, and sometimes very difficult life. I can also honestly say that it this is a very hard thing for me to give thanks for, because inside that little girl wishes she were living her dream and that things were big and ideal and absolutely perfect. But, I must remind myself that the imperfections that have presented themselves from the time I began to grow from a child into the woman that I am have made me this person. If things were BIG and ideal and PERFECT, I'm pretty sure I'd be boring, trite, and selfish. I am thankful for my life even though sometimes it's a very difficult life to live. I am thankful for my life.

Give thanks!

Give thanks.

So, I'm starting a few days late, but everyday this month I'm going to give thanks for something in my life.

1. Rest. After 10 months, Jaxen slept through the night last night. A few weeks ago, we eliminated Chloe's naps and she too is sleeping better and more soundly. I have gotten good sleep for days in a row. Today, I am thankful for rest. (Although secretly I'm missing having one or both of them in bed with me at some point in the night. shhh!)

2. Calm. I am thankful that my life has reached a point where, for the most part, it flows like a steady river. No raging rapids and no emotional rollercoasters. I'm thankful for predictable calm.

3. Jeremy. Without my wonderful husband and his dedication to me and our children, I would not have #1 and #2. I am thankful to no longer be working so that I can dedicate my time to taking care of my family fully while remaining stable, calm, and rested.

Give thanks.

Any relation?

You think these kids are related?


Chloe at around a year.


Jax at 8 months.

I saw this picture of Chloe from earlier in my blog and couldn't believe how much Jax looks like her! Too funny!

Chudder and His Brudder Butter

Chloe has always had her own little language. She was slow to start with only 1 word at a year and when she did get going she started speaking her own little language that we refer to as "Chloese." She intermingles correct words improperly into everyday conversations that bring us to tears with laughter. For example, polka dots were polka nuts for a while. Once, she was very adamant that she couldn't wear her "soup (suit) into the freckles (sprinkler) with her see-saws (sandles) because they will make mustards (blisters)." Her speech has gotten better but she often reverts to Chloese. Most recently, I've been attending yogurt (yoga) class.

Jeremy and I were having a very vivid discussion that I expect most couples have every now and again. The whole wife thinks husband is not doing enough discussion when said wife is overwhelmed and breaks down. I came from a single-parent home and disagreements were not a part of my earlier years as my parents divorced when I was very young. As a result, I suck with confrontational situations. I avoid them; I don't resolve them well; they make me anxious. As a result of this, Jeremy and I have never carried on our adult discussions behind closed doors, especially in relation to household activities. I think it's crucial for our kids to see that we can "discuss," resolve, and move on all while proving that you can disagree and still love each other. That being said, we were having a "discussion," which mostly consisted of me melting down and crying about being featured on an upcoming episode of "Hoarders," while Jeremy cautiously agreed with me that we needed to do more even though he thought he was clearly doing enough...which he is. I'm just a tad psycho due to exhaustion.

To which Chloe shouts out "be nice to Chudder" and Jeremy responds "Who's Chudder?" To which I giggle "You know Chudder," pointing to Colin,


"and his other brudder, Butter," pointing to Jaxen, sending us all into a fit of laughter, except of course Chloe who is never amused by the jaunting. Poor girl. I love Chloese. I know the days are limited until it completely disappears and is replaced by well-spoken English.

Hope your New Year is filled...

...with dreams as big as castles that are filled with sweet fairy dust!!!



These are two of the favorite gifts from Christmas. A set of blocks from Grandpa Helsing that will allow our boy with the neverending imagination to build just about anything his heart desires and a fairy outfit (and tent) from Great Grammie Ferra that is our little diva's heart's desire.

Wishing you all the best in the New Year!

An unexpected slow down.

I haven't been feeling well for the past month now and it turns out that my gallbladder has decided it needs to take life a little easier. It's working, just slowly and I have yet to discover what that means for its future. Apparently, since turning 30, my body has decided to start acting older. Life has been just as busy as usual and I've been working hard at just trying to keep up. For this girl that goes nonstop, this slowing of the insides has been bringing me to a crawl and I'm frustrated more than anything. I'm just plain tired. It's one thing when life slows down. It's another when you slow down and life just keeps going. Unfortunately, I have pushed some of the nonessential items to the side in order to keep things going, such as posting here.

On to some updates.

Colin lost his dear Philbert a few weeks ago and we dealt with the devastation of losing something so loved. We have since aquired 2 new turtle friends who have yet to be named. We are waiting to discover whether they are male or female which won't happen until they are a little bigger. It turns out, after a discussion with the store owner who sold us the turtle, that Philbert was indeed a Phyllis.

Colin also had an appointment earlier in the month with the Craniofacial team which was very promising. The asymmetry in his face seems to have slowed. He is currently at a 7-8 degree difference, which is actually rather minimal in the whole big picture. His upper palate is still too small to accommodate his teeth and will have to be expanded. If he loses more teeth in the next 6 months, he will have the expander placed. If not, we will wait things out another year. The Singulair has been so helpful for him. No more coughing fits, although we had to fight for weeks with insurance to get them to cough up payment.

Insurance, insurance, insurance...we just recently discovered that Jeremy still has coverage with his past insurance...long ridiculous story in which the blame mostly lies in our lap but nonetheless our newest insurance has retracted all payments since January and we are now fighting to get things resubmitted and taken care of as well as removed from our credit history. Thank goodness for insurance, but it is really draining me these days.

Chloe is fantastic. She was evaluated for her speech and is average, which is a relief. My child is average. It is such a shame that we, as parents, constantly fall into the trap of comparing our children. We compare them to each other and with their cousins and others in their peer groups. It really is terrible. Colin talked late but took off as soon as he begin. I have spent the past 6 months trying to figure out what was "wrong" with her. I am now forcing myself to drop the issue. She is fine. She is better than fine. She is a sweet genious without a voice. It'll come to her. I just need to give her the space to find it. She is still as in control of this house as ever, but she makes us all laugh daily. She really is a joy.

So, minus the gallbladder and the unexpected crawl my body has forced me into, life is good.

A Boy's Weekend.

Amusement park, baseball game, power plant...it was a boy's weekend. Last Saturday Jeremy's employer sponsored a day at Lakemont Park and the Altoona Curve. We decided to leave Chloe at my mom's to spend the day with Colin. It was his first real-deal baseball game and he had a blast...double-header and all. After a full day of roller coasters and waterslides, we had all intentions of leaving before the end of the 2nd game...he would have none of it, and I quote "what's the point of watching if you don't know how it ends." True, true.



Sunday, Jeremy made arrangements for Colin to tour the plant with him. It was his day off and Colin's always been really interested in seeing what Daddy does. So he put on his "work clothes" and all of his gear, including a belt to hold his flashlight and new boots bought specifically for the occasion. As he was waiting for Jeremy to finish getting ready, he sat back on the couch, crossed his arms behind his head and propped his feet, boots and all mind you, on my coffee table, and I quote "I look just like my Dad, huh?" Yes, yes you do.

The day included a tour of the plant, candy, "driving the bulldozer," and $5 in pay from Jeremy's boss. Needless to say, he came back covered in coal and happy as a clam...what's not to love about 4 hours at a power plant with a bunch of dirty men. I have my own thoughts on that.


As Colin was removing his play clothes to don his work clothes...Chloe decided she was going to work too. She demanded that I help put his shorts and t-shirt on her. Funniest part, other than the stubby little-person look it gave her, was that the shorts fit around her waist without issue. She cried so hard when they left her behind, poor baby, and refused to take the clothes off the rest of the afternoon. She even wore them for naptime.

California dreaming...and soaring...

I have been blessed in my life through my father's fortune and hard work. His life in the Army led him to a variety of different places and my sisters, brother and I were fortunate enough to get to share experience things and see places most people spend a lifetime dreaming about -- summers sailing on the ocean, afternoons swimming under waterfalls in Panama, romping on black-sand beaches and playing with monkeys and the typical summer fun of amusement parks and museums. This summer I saw in Colin's eyes the way I used to feel when visiting my father. Amazement at experiences in a life that feels unlike your own. My father's hard work post-military retirement has enabled him to live a comfortable life in California and, like any good grandpa, he was more than generous with opportunities while we visited.


Our flight arrived on Friday evening. After attempting to locate a piece of lost luggage (to no avail) we hopped on my Dad's plane (he reaffirmed his pilot's license a few years back) and flew (see pilot Chloe above) to his weekend home in Mendicino County. It was so nice there (see the view below). Some of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen. It was so nice to watch Colin and my nephew Tanner (below as well). The joy of being on those beaches and with each other and their Grandpa (who, of course, is the best of all grandpas).







Chloe actually ran a fever for the first 4 days but by the time we headed back to my Dad's house in the Bay area, she started to come around...a virus of sorts the emergency room doctor told me. It never fails...emergency room on vacation. We haven't been on a vacation since our honeymoon that didn't require a trip to the emergency room. A few years ago...we made 2 trips. I think a lot of her sickness was brought on from missing daddy and "home." She spoke her first sentence while there: "Daddy at home." Well, it was a little more like "Daee ah ome."

Wednesday, we flew to Disneyland for the day...yes, I said flew. Amazing. The boys had so much fun and Chloe got to spend the day being spoiled by her Grandma. It was on of the most fun days I have had in a long time and Colin can still talk for a good 40 minutes straight about it. It was unbelievable. Flying to Disney for the day...who does that?


The week also consisted of a whole lot of great food, a good bit of nice wine (not for the kids of course), Go-Carts, mini-golf, Chuck E. Cheese, a place called the Jungle, which is like Chuck E. Cheese on overload, and more McDonald's and Burger King than my child should ever see in a week. I also got the chance to hang out with Rachel, my bestest ever of friends for an evening. She recently moved to Treasure Island and is so close to my Dad. It was soooo nice.

To top it off, my dad and his wife recently added a new member to their family, a toy fox terrior named UV...I thought Colin might try to sneak her into a suitcase to bring her home. He is so in love. (Notice the matching shirts below.)


I count the blessings in my life daily. I have been blessed richly and experiences like our week in California leave me in awe wondering how it came to be that this is my life. My kids are blessed to experience all of these wonderful things and I am so thrilled that they have been given the opportunity! I am so happy with what I have and even more so...who I have. Thanks, Daddy!

My Two at the Zoo.

Colin's favorite was of course the aquarium. He loved the shark tank especially. He loved it all though. Surprise, surprise. He is as obsessed as always with animials. Chloe was relatively unimpressed by all of it. She was more excited about her Capri Sun and cookies...the elephants got an "ooh" and she squealed at a few fish, but otherwise, she was just along for the ride.

Chloe's Celeb Encounter

Chloe had her first run-in with a Steeler this weekend. We had a chance encounter with Steeler Alan Faneca on Saturday after participating in an Epilepsy walk in memory of Julie McCormick, a friend from high school.

I asked Mr. Faneca if he would kindly sign my kid. He did. :) It must have tickled because she was giggling and wiggling. So funny.

Myself, Chloe and Natalie. It was a nice day, yet bittersweet. Julie is very much missed and I would much rather have done the walk with her. Regardless, our team did a pretty good job raising money for the cause.

What a start to summer.

Jeremy hasn't been feeling well. Colin has something going on again...cough, stuffiness...allergies/infection/cold...I don't know. Chloe is cutting her 7th tooth, which we are thrilled about (starting to wonder if she might not get anymore), yet she is miserable and I think might have some of what her Dad had earlier in the week. Not exactly the start to summer we had hoped for. Oh, well, either way...it's here I suppose. They all just better suck it up. I have my beach gear ready. :) kidding, of course.

Time for summer!

Summertime and the livin' is...

Crazy. Baseball started this week, school is finishing up, Chloe is getting teeth (hopefully)...and this all explains why it's been a week since I posted. Colin is loving coach-pitch ball this year. He's so excited about it. He can't wait for school to finish up and has started counting down the days. Chloe is attempting to add more teeth to the few (6) she has and is a little unhappy about it all. Poor girl. I've been working like crazy and debating starting work with a second service in addition to the one I am currently working with, so I've been testing with other companies in my "spare" time. ha! I want to get things down pat with work before school is over so that I have a schedule that'll work around swimming and park time. :) We'll see how that goes.

Well, the kiddies are waking. Time for another full day!

Easter Pictures.

It appears that I didn't have my flash on Easter morning, so most of the egg hunt pictures didn't turn out. Here are some from the day.







Our obsessively clean baby, picking fuzz, etc. from her feet. :)


Notice the pistol. Ha! :) She was aiming at Colin of course.

I've been neglecting my blog.

No idea why. Just have been. So this post will be a schloo of updates.

The main man doc from Cali e-mailed me back. He is very interested in taking a look at Colin to assess the situation. He may provide the same answer as our current doctor, but it will be peace of mind if nothing else. Now we have to work out insurance logistics...ugh...and figure out when to schedule the appointment. We already have a visit scheduled with my Dad in July, so that'll probably be it. Hate to wait that long, but obviously can't really just take off to Cali. I'll cancel the May 1 surgery for now...and figure the rest out later. Never got around to calling local docs for a second opinion yet, still on the to-do list.

I have lots of cute Easter pics, I'll post those tomorrow. The kids of course had a wonderful weekend and the holiday itself was great.

Chloe is adding word after word and finally says Ma Ma!!!!!!! Yippee! So happy. She also says a dun (all done) and pup up (puppy). I love it. She is so sweet.

I haven't actually started working yet, but tomorrow is supposed to be the day. Wish me luck!

Measles...what?

What are the odds? The vaccination Chloe got to keep her from getting the measles, gave her the measles. It's obviously a milder form, but the measles nonetheless. Here are a few pictures. The bumps are hard to see, but there are hundreds there. If you double-click on the picture, you can see them better.




She doesn't seem too bothered by the actual bumps, she actually hasn't really even noticed them. Although she definitly is sleeping a lot and is a little crabbier than usual.

Chloe's 15-month Checkup

If you're doing the math, you're absolutely right...she's 16 months, but she had a sinus infection at 15, so we rescheduled. All is well in the world of Chloe. She is perfect weight, above average height, and was the best little girl ever today. Doc said she has a little umbilical hernia. Nothing to stress over. It should correct itself eventually. And, she is a little delayed in her speech, but so was Colin at this point. So, I'm not concerned. She'll take off at some point, and I'm sure I'll be wishing that she'd stop talking for a moment when she does. :) Early intervention he says; no thank you says I.

She had to get 4 shots today, and as the nurse and I were holding her down, she thought it was a game of sorts and was wiggling and giggling until the first prick of the needle. Oh, if you could have seen the look that nurse got! It was a look that said, "What the? I thought we were playing here! And, who the heck are you anyway!" Her little head snapped back and the evil look was given...and then the tears began to flow. Poor girl. She was over it quickly and walked to the front counter to retrieve the golden prize: An Elmo Sticker.

Cute to Boot.

Cutest picture of the day. Chloe is obsessed with her slippers (or boots as Colin calls them). Every morning, she brings them to me to put on. We took a pic today to share with Natalie (aka: supplier of the boots). Thanks, Nat! They're getting great use!