An Early Start.

We will be heading out in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow. Colin is scheduled for a 6 a.m. arrival. His surgery is scheduled for a 7:30 a.m. start. They have the OR scheduled for 3 1/2 hours, but the doctor said the surgery itself will only take about an hour and a half or so. This'll be by far the quickest surgery he's ever had yet. That means, we could be out of recovery and settled in our room before lunch. That would be great.

And even greater...as of mid-January, Jeremy will be an employee of the Homer City Generating Station. Yah! A full-time, year-round, great benefits job. We are so excited!!! To say the least!

I will try to update daily over this weekend to keep everyone up to date on Colin's recovery. Please keep him in your prayers. Pray for no complications, quick and simple healing, and especially minimal pain. Thanks.

Thanks also to the Townsend's for dinner tonight. We appreciate it greatly!!

Ready for Christmas.

We're finally ready for Christmas. The tree is up, gifts are wrapped, cards are underway, Jeremy hung the outside lights...while Chloe watched.



Tis the season. I love it. Love it, love it, love it! We have a little bit of shopping left to do, but not much. So nice to be ready. I've been trying to clean as much as possible this week. We'll have family here for breakfast Christmas morning and then dinner as well. I can't wait.

We went to dinner last night with my family. It was so nice! Thanks mom and Jim! We went to Colin's favorite...Eating Park. :) Nothing like going to a restaurant for Kraft mac n' cheese.

Pictures from the weekend.

Colin got to open a Christmas gift from Grandpa H. early. A Nintendo DS and Nintendogs game!! He was so excited and I think we may have to instill limits on game playing after surgery, etc. :) Thanks, Grandpa!


Happy Birthday, Pop!! Your candle-blowing helpers are adorable!


Before the night out, I decided we need a pic of us together. It has been a long time!


Colin with his batman face paint from the Christmas party Sunday. It's all or nothing baby, all or nothing!!

Preparing.

It seems like forever since I posted. Chloe hasn't been feeling well at all. Really bad cold, which has turned into a cough, and now tummy troubles. She isn't napping well and just wants to be held. Me too. :) Jeremy is working for a local contractor, and since Daddy's really the only one she wants right now...the days are long. Have I mentioned how tired I am of colds and flu-like sickness? Sigh.

This past weekend was nice. Birthday party on Friday for Pap Carnahan, night out for Jeremy and I on Saturday (thanks mum-mum), and a Christmas party with Mark on Sunday for Colin. He had so much fun! Thanks! I have pictures and will try to post when I have a little more time.

Otherwise, I am attempting to prepare for Friday. Can't believe it's here already. Part of me wishes it was months away still and part of me just wants it to be over. I'm so worried and Jeremy and I are both so tense. I think it's on Colin's mind too. He hasn't said anything, but he's really acting out this week, which is not like him at all.

Well...off to try to get something done before Miss Clo decides naptime is over.

Another winter cold.

Chloe had the sniffles yesterday, and I was hopeful that it was just teeth...she is getting a total of four right now...the middle top and bottom. But, it appears that she indeed has another cold. Nothing bad. Just a cold. No worries for Mom and Dad on this one, she's actually just been really sleepy. I got a lot done today in fact, but, I feel really bad for her. Hoping Colin doesn't get this one. He got over the last round of sniffles fairly quickly, but we are only 7 days away from surgery...although I wouldn't mind postponing. :) Just kidding...not really. :) Really.

Colin had his Santa workshop today at school and got to pick out gifts for Christmas. He was so excited. So much so, that he wanted to give them to us as soon as he got off the bus. He does not want to wait, but we have convinced him that it would be better to wait until Christmas Eve. :) Although, Philbert got his gift today. Lucky guy! Oh, the life of a turtle!

Happy Birthday Party.

Daddy's girl celebrated her first birthday Sunday!



Waiting patiently for cake.




Chloe was such the perfect party girl. She had such a blast and played along through all of our silly traditions. She was so cute and so much fun! It's official, she's one. As we were preparing on Sunday, Colin asked how old she'd be today, since she was one last time we celebrated. (which was on her actual birthday, just the four of us.) :) Cute as always, funny boy!

Let the Countdown Begin.

Today we'll start counting down with Colin's advent calendar to Christmas...24 to go, and marking the days on the calendar until surgery...14 to go. I absolutely love Christmas...for all of the obvious reasoning of what it represents...and because I love, love, love giving gifts. I also love the whole idea of Santa and the magic that makes my boy's eyes light up. I can't wait to get our tree up to see the joy in Chloe's eyes as well. So much fun. I hate that this will be the second year in a row that my baby will spend recovering from surgery over the holiday. I was hoping that this would be Colin's first year for midnight service. I used to love it as a kid. Next year maybe. We'll finally celebrate Clo's first birthday on Sunday with family and friends. Can't wait...mmm...messy cake.

Appointment/Interview Update

Colin's appointment was unremarkable...only slight changes in his vision (astigmatism), but not enough to justify glasses yet. And his orbital socket on the left has increased slightly in size, most likely due to the shifting of his facial bones. The Craniofacial team will also be watching for this...a continued increase could put more pressure on his eye socket and cause damage. But, today, everything looked good. No dermoids, no damage, nothing. Good visit.

Jeremy had his interview this morning and really feels things went well. All in all they are interviewing 30 people for 5 positions and we should know something by the 15th of December. Praying for this. If it's meant to be, it will be.

Opthamalogist Tomorrow.

For a routine checkup. Please pray it is routine and that nothing has changed since previous...thanks and goodnight.

Neurosurgery Appointment

Went well. Thanks first and foremost to Evie for traveling along. So nice to have you there...thanks for all of the help with both of the kids. The doc basically explained the surgery to us in more detail...they'll go in remove a little bone from two of the vertebrae to allow room to get to the pocket of fat...they'll open up the fluid sack and remove the fat to release his spinal cord. The incision will only be about 3 inches. The surgery is on Friday and then he'll have to stay flat Saturday and Sunday. Late Sunday they'll start to raise his bed and see how it goes and let him take it from there. If all goes well, we'll get to come home on Monday. The doc made us feel more at ease with everything, mostly because she was so at ease with the whole process. They do this often and she said she explained the complications, but said she has never had anyone experience those complications...she's only read about them. So that made us feel better about it all, too. She said that actually as soon as he is feeling like it, he can go back to school...even that next week before Christmas. So...that made us feel better, too. So all in all, a good visit.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

This week has been so nice. So normal. So great. We celebrated Thanksgiving with all of Jeremy's grandparents...first the Ferra's for lunch and the Carnahan's for supper. So nice to see everyone and to relax! Friday was our 10 year class reunion. So much fun. So many people actually made it and it was great to see them all again. I forgot how much fun high school was. So few have changed. It was a great night. We had breakfast with the Blystone boys Saturday morning, which was about as much fun as Friday night! Thanks to every single person that made me smile and especially to those who made me laugh! Haven't laughed that much in a really, really long time!

Thanks to Gram and Pap Carnahan for keeping Colin and to Nana and Papa for watching Clo. Saturday was an amazing lazy day. We watched movies, took naps, and just relaxed! Same goes for today...not quite as relaxing though...Chloe is finally getting her FIRST tooth! So she's a bit cranky to say the least. And, she wants nothing to do with me...at all. Poor Jerm was a little cranky, too! And, Colin woke up with another cold. Hasn't hit the chest yet, so I'm praying hard it stays in his sinuses. If it goes to the chest, surgery will have to be postponed, and that scares me.

Tomorrow...back to reality. We meet with the neurosurgeon. I think I'll feel more at ease after the appointment...I hope. I'm the type of person that thinks of all of the what-if's, so the more information I have, the more I understand, the more at ease I usually am. The past few weeks have made me more at ease with everything anyway...I think I've sort of gone through a weird sort of mourning process. Not sure if this will make sense, but figured I'd try to explain it for those of you who have dealt with psycho me recently. :)

See...in the past 6 years, we always felt like we knew what we were dealing with. We have been told time and time again about the many things that could happen, but of course, nothing major ever has...we dealt with ear issues, and basically ran under the "it will never happen to us" theory. Then in August, we went for a routine dentist appointment and discovered Colin's facial bones were shifting pretty dramitically (just over the last 6 months.) But, that was the first time one of the possibles became a definite. Then, the spinal cord, which actually, we didn't even see coming. Now the neck bones. Every check-up has brought something else with it. So, I've been mourning. Mourning the fact that I can't still pretend that those possibles will never happen to my boy. Now, all I seem to be thinking about are the possibles and there are so many, and so many of them are so very scary. So, I'm scared. For the first time...I'm scared. Because there will never be anyway to predict it all...to ever know what tomorrow holds. But, I'm getting a little closer to excepting that. Not there, but closer.

What else can I do? I am Mommy first, everything else after. And, I am no help to anyone when I am swimming in a pool of self pity. Yep, it's true I feel bad for myself. As hard as I try not to, I do it. I hate that I do, but sometimes when I'm really tired, I hate it all for me and especially for him. And then I feel bad for him...this Mom that wants NOONE to feel bad for him, does it herself. Ughhh! I hate that, too. But, life goes on, and everyday is new. So, I'm working under the "try not to make others around me miserable" philosophy these days. That's hard too.

Happy Birthday, Chloe!

Our baby girl is 1! I can't believe how quickly her first year went!! We didn't have the big party I planned on this weekend, but it was fun watching Colin trying to convince her to open her presents faster! He was so anxious for her to play with her toys (so he could play with her toys)! So cute. We'll still have the party, just at a later date...once we're sure she can eat cake. :) But, happy birthday, Chloe! We love you, much! She had her one year checkup today and at 29 and 1/2 inches and 21 lbs. 3 oz. we are proud to say she is average...she ranked almost exactly 50th percentile for weight, height, and head. Some pictures from Saturday...check out the shirt, it's pretty much been the theme of the last 5 days. Oh, the father-daughter bond. This child can do no wrong. :)

The Great, Good, and Bad

The Great: Jeremy is home...for good. No going back to this job! Yah! And on top of that, he has an interview November 29 for a job that would be steady and closer to home! We've been waiting forever to hear something! So excited. This would be such a blessing for us right now...financially, mentally, physically.

The Good: No more back brace, at least until the next visit to the ortho. doc in February. Love the new doctor. So friendly. Very professional and thorough. He really listened to what I had to say and my thoughts on congenital scoliosis (which is what Colin has...basically just means he's had it since birth and that it is caused by spinal anomalies. The other type comes with growth and usually doesn't include anomalies). He too feels that the brace will not keep the curve from increasing...if it increases, it will most likely happen regardless of whether or not he is braced...which is a long in depth story for another day. And, no spinal fusion confirmed...he said he would wait until 1. the curve increases much more and 2. he is much older and closer to being done growing.

The Bad: Our last ortho. doc hadn't checked the vertebrae in Colin's neck for more than 2 years, basically the entire time we have seen him. I questioned the new doc. about this and he looked through the charts to verify...he requested we have it done right then because he noticed a decrease in Colin's neck movement from the last time it was noted. (2 years ago...rghhh) A few of his neck bones, which just like his back-not a single "normal" vertebrae, have fused...they have grown together and become one bone, thus limiting his movement. Some have shifted and basically his neck bones are all just a big jumble, jigsaw puzzle-like looking thing...no good way to describe it. What this means...nothing major regarding fixing, etc...unless it gets worse or interfers in breathing, apnea, etc...but, we have been told that we need to take extra precautions to avoid traumatic injury...thus, No Football, No Hockey, No Wrestling, No Karate, No Trampolines. Jeremy and I are kind of looking at this as a neutral, his health is not currently jeopardized by it...just something we need to be more aware of. I called it a bad because Colin would consider the No Trampoline a definite bad. Thankfully we won't have to cross that bridge until summer.

Crazy Baby!

I have no idea how we got to this point! Honestly! I turned around for one second and when I looked back...

A Year of Beautiful Memories

Slide your cursor over the pics for captions.

Almost time for cake!

Colin got his flu shot. All is intact, minus a few tears. :) He did good though. Chloe will not be getting her shot until next week. Decided to wait and do them all at once at her 1-year visit. Can't believe she'll be 1 in just days! So crazy! I think back to all of those tear filled, sleepless nights...that I wished would pass quicker! And now, it's been a year.

She has "skin breakdown" and "most likely a skin infection" so the doc gave us a new cream to try and suggested changing her diaper at least every 2 hours...which, by the way, I feel like I do already. So, we'll see. As far as the formula/milk thing goes...we are to wait until Sunday/Monday and try to reintroduce her regular formula to see what happens. If she reacts negatively again, we are to wait another week...you get the picture. So, doc says it's most likely temporary, nothing we can do right now but wait it out and keep trying...if between 13 and 14 months of age still no luck, we'll talk next steps. Let's hope this weekend it goes fine...this girl's got cake to eat!!!

Jeremy

Will be home THIS WEEK! Just in time for little miss's birthday! I couldn't be more impatient! Can't wait!!! Just wanted to share that news! I'm bursting! I've never been so excited about a layoff!

My Thoughts on Spinal Fusion

I researched more today...a spinal fusion is something we have discussed in the past with Colin's ortho docs, but I guess they never termed it that, just described it. Basically, it is where they go in and attach rods, screws, etc. to his spine at the top and bottom of the curvature(s) and then use those rods to help decrease the curvature. From what I remember, this is something that they don't usually do until the curve hits 40 degrees. Colin's at the most read 34 and I personally believe it had something to do with the way he was standing that day. The x-ray technique for measuring the curve is not very accurate...which is extremely frustrating. His degree of curvature has ranged anywhere from 26 to 34. (the most recent being 28 after 6 months unbraced) The day he read at 34 led to the need for him to wear his brace, which covers from his hip bones to under his armpits. You can imagine how uncomfortable it is, thus my desire for a second opinion...our current doc insists on continued use. If this doc confirms as well, then we will go back to wearing it. I discussed that possibility with Colin today and he understands the importance of listening to the doctor. :) He is such a little man.

btw, he asked me if he was still contagious today. HA! What six-year-old uses contagious as a part of his regular vocabulary!

Anyway...I'm nearly 100% positive that a spinal fusion, although mentioned by the neuro doc will not be in his near future. Friday's appointment should confirm.

Colin headed back to school today without problem. Yah! And, brought home his report card...he is a genius of course! Like you had to ask! So proud! Chloe is doing find, minus a lingering rash...doctor will check tomorrow afternoon. And if anyone cares about what I did today...I tackled the mile high pile of filing and bills that had taken over my dining room table. All is well and in it's place...minus the bills of course. They are waiting in a single file line until their name comes up or we get a call. :) And life goes on...

Colin's Book

I've started working on Colin's book. Thanks to everyone who already sent notes and photos! So cute! I love it! It's so nice to read about my boy through the eyes of others. Love it, love it, love it! So, please keep sending them. I am planning to give it to him preop or postop in December, so I want to get as much done now as possible. Thanks again to everyone!

Colin will head back to school tomorrow. He seemed great today. Even added a squirt of ketchup into the diet! So exciting! Chloe is doing good. Her sleep schedule is obviously off...little miss no-nap, but she ate a normal dinner. Jerm is tired and admittedly lonely. I am missing him desperately. Can't wait to have him home.

Flu shots Wednesday...have to have them well in advance of surgery. And orthopedics Friday...to meet new doc to discuss continued need for bracing his back and possible spine fusion?? I've done a little research, but not enough yet to share anything significant. Not to mention I've sort of been avoiding thoughts on surgery right now. I think I'll wait to deal when I have a strong shoulder to lean on, thus the need for my husband to return home. sigh... :)

Missing Daddy!

I was planning on posting this last Tuesday, but obviously some things came up! So, since we are missing him today and he can't come home, I thought I'd do it now...even though he won't see it for a while. We have the most wonderful Daddy because:

1. He stayed up with mommy into the wee hours of the morning to keep her company walking the floors with baby girl last Sunday.
2. He woke up hours later (5am to be exact) just to keep mommy company while she rocked baby girl.
3. He stayed up to get Colin off to school, while mommy went back to bed.
4. He took over mommy duties: packing lunches, getting homework ready, dressing Colin and getting him on the bus.
4. He changed sheets, very yucky sheets.
5. He did laundry, his and ours, also very yucky.
6. He played peek-a-boo over mommy's shoulder to keep baby girl from crying, even though he had to cover his nose with his shirt.
7. He went to the store for groceries and supplies.
8. He played patty cakes, even though exhausted, over and over and over again!

9. He cuddled for hours even though baby girl was germ infested.
And the top reason we missed Daddy this week:

10. In 36 hours, he made us all smile and laugh and feel protected and loved. He is a wonderful man and I am so happy he is mine.

So glad he is feeling better! He headed back to work last night and claimed to be feeling fine. Thankful for that. Colin is definitely feeling better. Not 100%, but I'd say pretty close. He's still tired, but we MIGHT head back to school Monday or Tuesday. We'll see how today goes. Chloe is better, much better, and took the soy formula fine. I think we'll stick with that for now.

Today feels normal. I love normal. Happy to have my simple life back for now.