A duh moment and a revelation.

We all have to have them occasionally...

X-ray revealed constipation. Proof, once more, that my boy is getting older. Not because of the issue at hand so much as me being totally unaware of it. Gone are the days that I know every tidbit of his life down to the timing and consistency of his pee and poo. Sigh and a laugh. So, we started him on MiraLax a few days back, a small dose mind you, and ended up heading in the opposite direction of not being able to go. MiraLax does not usually cause this, so I've been racking my brain trying to figure it out...until today. Duh! He's been on an antibiotic for almost a week. Duh! Duh! Duh! No idea why it took me so long to figure it out. So, needless to say, bathroom is a go for now...we'll have to reassess at a later date. Although, I personally believe that all these poo problems were the cause of our pee issues.

And...on to my revelation: I had a revelation the other day, that it is quite possible that I am the only person that reads this blog on a daily basis (besides Nat and Alicia -- which is about the same as me reading it since they are really the only 2 that know the true ins and outs of my daily life other than me...and Jerm, of course and my Dad cause a direct e-mail is sent every time I post)...so I've decided to treat it like a diary. Simply because it's weird writing to an unknown audience...so going forward, I'll be treating my blog like a diary as it has become unbelievably therapeutic for me...my own warped therapist of sorts...

So, if you don't care about my kid's poo...tough luck. I wasn't sharing for your personal experience but for that of my own and prosperity...in my reference of this unexpected journey that is my life. (Although if you happen to be someone other than the above mentioned, I'm glad you're reading and hope you continue.) It's important for me to share my experiences to help me deal with them. Otherwise, my thoughts wander aimlessly in my stuffed mind and end up squeezing out -- "POP" -- at the most inopportune moments. Much better to let it all flow here for the sanity of those closest to me.

Nat said it best the other night as Colin and I struggled with cream and pull-ups before bedtime (we happened to be chatting post bathtime): "I bet you didn't think you'd still be dealing with this now." Nope sure didn't.

I never expected to be raising a child with a single medical issue, let alone numerous medical issues. Applying diaper rash cream at 7, sitting in doctors office waiting rooms day in and out, watching my child undergo more medical treatments in the blink of an eye than I will EVER experience in my lifetime. I never expected to spend my nights fretting about what the next appointment will bring, what the next week at school will bring, what the next day's unbelievably difficult question will be from my sweet boy. I never, ever expected myself to become a mom who feels so crazy sometimes that she wants to hold onto him tight and not send him out into this cruel, cruel judgemental world full of judgemental people who just don't see how unintentionally hurtful they can be. There are days I drive myself crazy with the thoughts that run rampant in my extremely overfilled brain...a brain that holds it all...the complete and unedited medical history of my boy with this unexplainable syndrome that eats away at my heart.